Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
