I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
they call him Oral-B. enough said
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
