saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize