She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Randomize
