It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
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