how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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