I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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