And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
