your room smells of hookers.
And success
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
