similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
