yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Randomize
