I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
NoShamevember. You game?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize