Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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