be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
