can we get nightvision for the apartment?
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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