please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
