Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize