...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
