i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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