the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
