Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
