can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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