Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
You were trust falling into bushes
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
