Fuck appropriateness.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
