talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
