Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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