Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
