i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
only you would photoshop your dick
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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