I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
