I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
