Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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