considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
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We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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