i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
