I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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