I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize