guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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