watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize
