New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize