Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
