Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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