So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Randomize