So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
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Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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