How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
