I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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