the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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