Your face is a jimmy john
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
