I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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