last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
