How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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