TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
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We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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