I think my vagina is haunted
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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