chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
And then he peed in my hair
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