i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize