Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
